How to help your child be more positive

The positive or negative attitude develops in us from a very early age and shapes our view of the world. Negative thoughts (“this is going to go wrong”) lead to a negative self-image (“I’m bad”). For this reason, we should try to avoid generalizations (“this time it didn’t go as well as yesterday” instead of “you did it wrong”). Most of us act and react to our environment based on unconscious patterns acquired during childhood. Almost without realizing it, those thinking tendencies limit us or expand us. That is why it is important to help your children develop a positive attitude.

This inclination towards positive thinking or negative thinking starts to anchor itself in our psyche very early on, and begins to steer our perception of the events around us. We must therefore start as early as possible to train our little ones’ minds towards the great gift that a positive attitude is.

When we generalize (using words like everything, never, ever, always…), we create a label. Distorted thinking is an inadequate way of thinking that gives children a distorted view of who they are, preventing them from seeing reality, affecting their mood negatively and leading to disruptive behavior.

One way to help them is to offer an alternative instead of judging (for example: if they make a mistake in a game, we could say “look, if you do it this way it will work better”, instead of telling them “you did it wrong” and not giving them a chance to improve).

We do not see what things are, but what we are

For a long time, the cognitive schools of psychology have been claiming that each of us interprets reality through our own filter made up of our beliefs. In other words, between what really happens and what I perceive there is a space in which our mind operates.

For most of us, that filtering process goes unnoticed and we simply take it for granted that what I perceive is reality, and that this is the only possible reality. However, if we are able to become aware of that process, we will understand why some people see life through rose-colored glasses and others see it in dark gray.

How to help your children develop a positive attitude

Help them develop a healthy inner dialogue. Get them used to telling themselves: “I am capable, I can improve, I can do it”
Be a role model of positivity and optimism. Try to come across as someone cheerful, stable and confident in themselves and in life.
Teach them the value of negative emotions. Help them learn to identify them, feel them and listen to their message. As well as learning to move beyond them, drawing a lesson from them, instead of getting stuck in them.
Train them to be their own centre, so they remember to look for balance and happiness within themselves and not in other people’s opinions.
Explain to them that it is healthy and acceptable to distance themselves from toxic environments and people. And that if they have to live with them, they should have a mental shield of protection so that that negativity does not get through to them.
Try to instil in them the importance of self-care. Of healthy habits such as good nutrition, regular physical exercise and contact with nature. Highlight introspection as a beneficial way of listening to and getting to know oneself, and contact with others as a way of growing richer and sharing.
Always remind them that life is full of beauty, of people who love them, of opportunities to enjoy. And that hard times always serve to make us stronger and rediscover how much love and support we have around us